100 Ways To Irritate Train Heartnet
by Kuro-Cha'Nay'Nay
Summary: Always wanted to get on Train's bad side? Well, here's a full proof list that I've created that is sure to piss him off. REPOST. /Crack-fic?.


**Repost of an old ficlist I did awhile back.. xD I dunno, I was bored, so I edited it quite a bit. But here are some fantastical ways to irritate Train!**

**Warnings: **Oh… Just my usual craziness. Enjoy~

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Dump perfectly good milk down the drain.

Force him to go out on a date with Creed.

Corner his friends.

Torment him with food when he hasn't eaten in days.

Make him listen to every Justin Bieber album for three days straight.

Tell him his clothes make him look like a doughnut shop with down syndrome.

Tell him he's too pretty to be a guy.

Question him on how long he and Sven have been dating.

Become his biggest fan and follow him EVERYWHERE, even to the restroom.

Call Saya an ugly bitch.

Tell him his eyes are the color of a cat's piss.

Ask him why he has a cat fetish.

Ask him if he's screwed Creed yet.

Have Creed walk in on him while he's taking a shower.

Ramble on for hours about how Chronos is the best thing in the world.

Post this list on the internet and have him read it.

Lock him in a closet with Kyouko for two hours.

Put a laxative in his milk.

Take his food and distribute it to the neighborhood cats.

Ash him if he's pregnant, and before he can reply, ask, "Who's the father? Train, Jenos, or Creed?"

Let him know that his gun is probably bigger than his penis.

Shoot him in the ballsack.

Tell him he's a cat molester.

Write "I love Creed" on his face while he's sleeping. Oh, and add a dick next to it.

Have Rins take his life savings.

Have Creed go out in public and proclaim to the world that he and Train will be married next October.

Introduce him to yaoi. (More importantly, the Train x Creed pairing.)

Introduce him to the Black Cat Fandom. (Oh my god)

Ask him when he came out of the closet.

Tell him that Light Yagami whoops him big time in hotness. (Lol nope)

Tell him that his mere appearance makes babies want to kill themselves.

Ask him if he's Sven's son.

Get River to follow him back to his house and lie with him in bed.

Tell him he's getting just a _little _chunky and that he needs to cut down on the cat food.

Force him to eat fried chicken until he vomits rainbows.

Kill Sven.

Give him spoiled milk when he's thirsty.

Have Eve read aloud "Fifty Shades of Grey" to him.

Steal his clothes while he's in the shower.

When he's on line and you're standing behind him, point to him and scream "RAPIST!"

Tell him that he's too much of a pussy, because he could've saved his parents if he tried.

Ask him if he has a crush on Jenos.

Hang him upside down from a treebranch.

Spread a rumor that he eats cat feces.

Force him to table dance to Barbie Girl.

Force him to make out with a dead cat.

Scream "YOU GONNA GET RAPED" and then have Creed do the honors.

Make him sit in your typical high school history class for an hour.

Convince a random guy to ask him out.

Convince him to waste money on a crapload of shit that he doesn't need.

Bombard him with inappropriate questions.

Ask him if he's ever done anal.

Question his mental sanity.

Put him in a dress and force him to wander around town for days.

Tape him to the front of your door and slam it.

Get Sven to shut all of the windows in Train's room and then smoke in it.

Give him false directions so he ends up wandering around town for hours.

When he's training, yell "DON'T SCREW UP!"

Rent the hotel room above his and play loud scream music about killing kittens while he's trying to sleep.

Push him off the roof.

Get his cat friends to turn against him and attack.

Smother dog shit all over his food.

Paste rose petals all over his clothes.

Invite him to dinner, pig out on the most expensive foods and then claim that you left your wallet at home.

Dye his hair pink.

Ask him if he knows what a hairbrush is.

Tell him that you think Creed's dick is bigger than his.

Have Creed randomly walk up to him in public and say, "Oh honey, how are you?"

Ask him whether he likes lollipops or doughnuts better.

Complain about how disgusting milk is.

Invite Zagine over for dinner.

Shove a gerbil in his ass through a tube.

Tell him that Eve should be the main character, not him.

Allow a random anti fangirl to pimp slap him.

Get Rins to propose to him during dinner.

Force him to listen to your typical rap song on repeat for an entire day.

Throw his gun in a lake.

Call him Trainy- Bear.

Put some annoying child in his care.

Force him to eat frozen food.

When you are discussing the doughnuts on his shirt, pull one off and eat it.

Replace his milk with blue cheese dressing.

Randomly babble about life in Spanish.

Ask him why his parents could have possibly wanted to name him after a locomotive.

Rob him and leave him tied to a fence.

Tell him that Black Cat is a terrible title.

Write "Lazy Freeloader" on his face as he sleeps.

Let him know that he is a mere, socially retarded anime character that no one likes.

Take his milk while he's drinking it and then scream 'LOL AT YOUR DOWN SYNDROME" and run away.

Force him to wear Creed's underwear.

When he walks by, randomly scream "PENIS!"

Tell him he dresses like a starving hobo.

Put his hair in little pigtails.

Lock him outside when it's raining.

Force him to watch reruns of the Jersey Shore.

When he's talking to you say nothing but "Meow".

Yell, "I'll kill you….In DA FACE!"

Push him down a well infested with rabid dogs.

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**XD I lol'd as I was re-editing this. Feel free to review~!**


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